Friday Funny with Mad Editing and a Merry Christmas

Since today will be my last Friday Funny until after the New Year, I thought I’d have fun by kicking things off with some dancing from one of my favorite Christmas movies, White Christmas.

Are you getting into the holiday spirit and shaking that booty? Come on, you know you want to…at least a little. 

Hey, if Bing Crosby can do it, so can you! 😉

Anyway, as I mentioned, today will be my last Friday Funny for the next few weeks. With the holiday hoopla revving up, a two week vacation quickly approaching, and a mad dash to the finish line of my third draft, I need to take an itty bitty break from my blog. But don’t worry. I’ve decided to run a small feature while I’m gone:

My Top 10 2014 Posts.

IMG_4120Basically, I’ll be re-sharing my most popular posts from the past year (based on the number of views).

So, if you think about it, I won’t really be gone.

Glancing at my stats page now, I see my most popular posts include stories I’ve written, helpful articles I’ve found for Twitter Treasure Thursday, and some articles I wrote myself. So, you’ll get a little taste of everything.

I also have a dear friend who might do a guest post while I’m gone, so stay tuned for that special treat!

As far as life has gone the past couple of weeks…

Yeah, things have been on the frustrating side. I really can’t explain why other than I’m hitting a wall and simply need a break. You know, a vacation. A real one. Like, on a beach somewhere with nothing to worry about but getting a sunburn by accident…

Of course, there is no beach vacation planned, and taking a break right now is impossible. If anything, I need to work harder. My January 1st deadline is rapidly approaching and I’m only one third of the way through editing my novel.

Okay, I’ll admit it. At this point, it’s going to take a Christmas miracle for me to finish my third draft by January 1st. A combination of fatigue and diligence has slowed my progress way down.

However, I’m determined to finish it by January 16th, which is when the first round of the Short Story Challenge 2015 kicks off. I just need to stay positive and focused.

Luckily, I’m taking a week off of work starting on the 23rd, and besides celebrating Christmas and a few other holiday events, I have nothing planned, so I should have plenty of time to dedicate to finishing my third draft.

Don’t worry. Life hasn’t been all work and no play for me. A couple of weeks ago, my family and I took my nephews up to The Polar Express event at the Colorado Railroad Museum. To say it was magical would be an understatement.

1939799_10101899434320383_2937349853069502961_n

1604978_10101899434799423_3646238437629819534_nWe boarded a train with our tickets, had hot chocolate served to us by dancing waiters, and listened to The Polar Express read aloud. Then we disembarked and walked over to watch the actual Polar Express train arrive.

I don’t know how it happened, but as we watched the train chug along the track towards us with its steam billowing, it began to snow. Soft, perfect little flakes that hadn’t been in the forecast but decided to fall anyway in that moment. It made the entire experience surreal and unforgettable.

10277762_10101916657135723_4709926420278230965_n
My nephews aboard the Polar Express

10440778_10101899435468083_6522615166308918613_n-1As we rode the train, we were entertained with various reenactments from the story, as well as a visit from Santa who gave my nephews a sleigh bell. We even had our tickets punched by the conductor with the letter “B” for “Believe”.

10389674_10101916656437123_5972138565947193689_nThe entire event was amazing and will likely go down as the main highlight of this holiday season for me.

Well, time to wrap things up and get back to working on my manuscript! I searched and searched for a writing funny based on the holidays, but I couldn’t find one 😦 But here are some that will still hopefully give you a chuckle. Enjoy!

8246264544ad943e218ecc1ea7522e62

aa45a5518cb41f43c8e299683a5282eb

f917926d7f239d09a7b19d9486d6090bI wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! Be safe, have fun, and try to relax more than me 😉

Jen’s Roundup

In case you missed my last few posts, here you go!

Music Monday – Superheroes – The Script

My First Writing Conference – Top 10 Things I Learned

Music Monday – Bad Moon Rising – Creedence Clearwater Revival

What I’m Thankful For

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Photo credits: 

1, 2, 3, 45, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10

Friday Funny with Editing, Exhaustion, and Hoopla

It’s Friday! Let’s shimmy, shake, and dance it up!

Why do I always make you dance with me on Fridays? Hmm, maybe I need to find a better way to celebrate the fact we’ve made it to the end of the week?…Or maybe not? I like dancing and this is my blog, so…

Yep, my decision’s made. We shall keep dancing on Fridays. Beware! 😉

A quick sum up of my week goes likes this:

I wrote.

A lot.

Okay, okay. I didn’t write as much as I needed to. Honestly, it was one of those weeks where life distracted me. It didn’t help things got off to a rocky start after spending last Saturday at the Colorado Writing Workshop hosted by Chuck Sambuchino. I’m not going to go into too much detail about my experience at the writing conference since I plan to dedicate another blog post to it. However, I will say it was great and I learned a lot!

It was also completely exhausting. The combination of nerves, focus, frantic note taking, and socializing did a number on me. I woke up on Sunday feeling like a zombie, and I carried that fatigue with me into the week. All I wanted to do was curl up on my couch, watch TV, and sleep.

Thankfully, I snapped out of my weary fog by Tuesday and got myself back on track…Well, mostly. You know, life. Stuff. Distractions.

Side note: I’ve discovered that whenever I create a deadline for myself, God decides to have a big laugh by throwing unexpected obstacles at me. It’s like He says, “Deadline, huh? Hmm, I wonder if I throw this, this, and this at you if you can still finish on time?…Yeah, that sounds like fun. Let’s see how you do–And go!”

Don’t worry, I didn’t eat my feelings or gorge upon ice cream all week…Just a lot of peanut M&M’s 😉

As far as my manuscript goes, I edited the first four chapters (hopefully five by the end of today). Yes, I know I need to pick up the pace if I want to make my January 1st deadline, but…Honestly, I’ve decided I’m not going to rush for the sake of making that deadline. I want things done right, and I want them done well. So, if that means I end up being a week or two late, then so be it.

I believe one of the main reasons I’m working a little slower is because after attending that writing conference on Saturday, I’ve become extra sensitive to certain aspects of storytelling. I find myself tweaking and revising things I hadn’t expected to tweak or revise, and I suddenly see issues I hadn’t seen before.

Oh, the joys of editing 😉

Anyway, that’s it for today. As I mentioned, I do plan on sharing specific details about my experience at the Colorado Writing Workshop later. I learned a lot from the great Chuck Sambuchino and I hope to tell you about some of them. So stay tuned for that!

In honor of my up and down week, filled with edits, exhaustion, and personal hoopla, here are today’s Friday Funnies. Enjoy!

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10256795_890169144327045_3018233349446529036_nHow was your week? I’ve spoken to a few of you in private about your progress with NaNoWriMo, and I’m amazed how many have hit the 50K goal/will hit it by the end of the weekend. You’re crazy! And total rockstars!

But, really, whether you’ve hit the 50K goal, are on track to reach it, or are so far behind, you know it’s impossible to make the November 30th deadline, don’t stop! Keep writing. That’s the point of NaNo. Write, write, write!

Jen’s Weekly Roundup

In case you missed my posts from earlier this week, here you go!

Music Monday – Ghost – Ella Henderson

Why You Should Enter the NYC Midnight Short Story Challenge 2015

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Photo credit:

http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f35/frustrated-friday-night-dance-party-502633/ 

https://www.tumblr.com/search/emiliana+replies+to+things 

http://www.lipstickalley.com/showthread.php?t=439281&page=2

http://ohnotheydidnt.livejournal.com/86751220.html?page=2 

http://slitsread.com/2014/05/ 

https://www.facebook.com/A.WritersStudio?fref=photo

https://www.facebook.com/pageawards?fref=photo

Friday Funny with Brrrr, Reading, and a Writing Workshop

Brrrrr! Denver is freezing this week, everyone. Like, crank up the heaters, open the bathroom and kitchen cabinets, and constantly run the faucets–freezing.

For those of you who don’t know, Colorado’s weather tends to go like this:

Mother Nature:

Five minutes later…

No joke! The weather here is a tumultuous roller coaster. Sunny one minute, a blizzard the next. Within 24-hours, the temperatures can plummet 60+ degrees. That’s what happened this week. Last Sunday, it was a sunny and beautiful 75 degrees. By Monday evening, it was a snowy and freezing 15–and dropping. By midweek, Denver had nosedived below zero, with a windchill of negative 35 degrees.

NEGATIVE 35!

Ugh.

I actually took Wednesday off of work because of the frigid temperatures and icy roads. The only problem was my car. If it sits too long in the cold without moving, the battery dies. So, I was forced to leave the warmth of my house multiple times to warm up the engine…and I’m positive every time I did this, my neighbors snickered, frowned, and laughed at what I was wearing:

Honestly, I looked like a walking, talking, shivering marshmallow as I executed Operation Save Car Battery on Wednesday. The repeated process went something like this: Step outside. Waddle, waddle, waddle. Unlock car. Fall inside. Flip ignition. Sit, wait, freeze. Turn off engine. Heave self out of car. Slip. Gain balance. Lock car. Waddle, waddle, waddle back into house.

Oh, I love this time of the year. 😉

Anyway, besides freezing my booty off and looking like a puffed up moron, I spent the week rereading the second draft of my manuscript and making edit notes for a third draft. Upon finishing it, I found myself pleasantly surprised by the first half of the story. The second half…

Well, I won’t say it’s bad, but it definitely needs a lot of work. My characters lost their edge, the dialogue wasn’t as snappy, the plot got foggy, the actual writing sloppy…Ugh. I think part of the problem is I began working faster and less diligently as I moved along. I wasn’t perfecting my later chapters like I did my earlier ones.

The good news is there is a story there, and I know what needs to be done to get it where I want it to go. So now I just need to roll up my sleeves, take a deep breath, and dig into a third draft.

I probably won’t be starting my third draft for a couple of days since I’m attending my first writing workshop tomorrow: the 2014 Colorado Writing Workshop with presenter and instructor Chuck SambuchinoEeks! I’m really nervous, but also really excited about this event. Not only am I going to get the chance to learn a ton about the publishing world, but I’ll be able to meet a ton of other writers from the Denver region.

I’ll be sure to fill you in about my experience at the workshop next week!

 Okay, enough chitchat. Here are some Friday Funnies to brighten your day. Sort of random this week, but I laughed so maybe you will too? Enjoy!

8db5ec3e22e8839ce5ac9c3929116f3e 80a75624d4450211905882e66c05ccc7How was your week? How’s NaNoWriMo going for those of you participating?

Jen’s Weekly Roundup

In case you missed my posts from earlier this week, here you go!

Music Monday – Defying Gravity – Kerry Ellis

Make Your Opening Pop!

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Photo credits: 

http://www.buzzfeed.com/erinchack/things-people-who-are-always-cold-understand

http://www.buzzfeed.com/leonoraepstein/disney-characters-who-really-need-to-see-a-psychiatrist

http://thegoggindiaries.com/2014/01/06/i-hate-winter/ 

https://www.tumblr.com/search/waddle%20of%20penguins

http://bluesdanceworld.com/2014/01/02/jane-russell-and-marilyn-monroe-in-gentlemen-prefer-blondes/

https://www.tumblr.com/search/Deep+Breath+reaction 

http://www.pinterest.com/WStoryBoards/writing-humor/

Friday Funny with Some Hocus Pocus, Frozen, and Writing

…And now you’re mine.

Whahahaha

Okay, okay, not really. I only hope I can keep you entranced past this sentence 😉  I’ll start off this Friday by saying happy Halloween! I’ll admit, I’m a sucker for this holiday. I know a lot of people aren’t, and many of you out there feel like this:

But I feel like this:

Halloween is one of the only reasons I embrace the autumn and cooler weather here in Colorado. I just love everything about it: Scary movies. Candy. Spooky decorations. Candy. Silly costumes. Candy. Apple cider. Candy… 😉

I don’t have any special plans tonight except to watch some scary movies and eat–er, I mean, hand out candy to the neighbors. I did most of my official celebrating last weekend at my family’s Disney themed Halloween party. Despite its modern twist, my Frozen costume worked well enough that most of the kids kept calling me “Elsa”.

10711080_10101848208068203_3581436476091146286_nYes, those are official Frozen pants. If you look at my knee, you’ll see Elsa performing her icy magic.

10686824_10101848207364613_8328769457753683577_nMe with Olaf (aka, my nephew). He wouldn’t let me out of his sight all evening. “Elsa, where are you going?”… “Elsa, take a picture!”… “Elsa! Elsa! Elsa!” It was adorable and funny.

As for writing this week, I’ve continued to chug along with my manuscript. I’m just a few chapters away from finishing my second draft, and if I maintain my focus, I should have it done by early next week *fingers crossed*

I’m actually proud of myself this week. I sucked it up and said “no” to anyone who asked me to do stuff. “Jenna, do you want to come over for dinner?” No! “Hey, can babysit?” No! “Do you have time to–?” No, no, no! I didn’t even take the time to clean my house or buy groceries. I woke up this morning and realized I was out of food and my house was…Well…

Oh well. Tis the life of a writer, right? It’s not always orderly, pretty, or necessarily comfortable.

Are you tired of the Hocus Pocus gifs yet?

Well, fine. Be that way. I’ll end things here. I should anyway. My manuscript is starting to yell at me to get to work on it.

Okay, okay. That was the last one. Promise!

In honor of Halloween, as well as my enjoyable, but slightly uncomfortable journey with my manuscript this week, here are today’s Friday Funnies. Enjoy!

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25cc46c9773464db4d516275cdacd2ceHow was your week? Anyone have any fun plans for Halloween? What/who are you dressing up as?

P.S. Good luck to all who are starting NaNoWriMo this weekend! I know you’ll rock it.

Jen’s Weekly Roundup

In case you missed my posts from earlier this week, here you go!

Music Monday – Tomorrow Belongs To Me – Cabaret

Jen’s Top 10 NaNoWriMo Tips

The Last, Definitive Word On Word Count

Photo credits:

http://www.comments20.com/category/occasional-graphics/halloween-graphics/page/4/

http://www.buzzfeed.com/lorynbrantz/18-insanely-clever-pop-culture-stencils

http://www.buzzfeed.com/samimain/witches-be-crazy

https://www.tumblr.com/search/movie+flyer

http://mashable.com/2014/10/22/hocus-pocus-cult-classic/

http://www.bookaddictsguide.com/2014/10/20/fortnight-fright-2014-hocus-pocus-morgan-words/

https://www.facebook.com/Writers.Write.Company/photos/a.821983757828947.1073741831.175634409130555/920050231355632/?type=1&theater

https://www.facebook.com/A.WritersStudio/photos/a.583569911653638.1073741826.583384065005556/881224548554838/?type=1&theater

http://www.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk/gallery/#/i/321896/

Friday Funny with Writing and a Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah

It’s Fridayyyyyyyy!

So, is it just me, or did every day this week feel like Friday? Seriously, each morning my alarm clock went off, I thought, “Yippee! It’s Friday–No, wait. It’s not. Not even close. Beepity-beep!”

I was very happy when I woke up this morning and realized it was Friday–for real. Woo-hoo!

Anyway, it was a busy week for me, but a productive one. I’m proud of myself for not getting too caught up in the mad dash of life and focusing hard on my manuscript. Since last weekend, I’ve knocked out four new chapters, each one approved by my beta reader.

If I keep up this pace, I might finish my second draft by November 1st. Which means I’ll have two months to edit a third draft. Which means I just might have a presentable draft done by my deadline of January 1st.

*fingers crossed*

Besides writing my booty off this week, I had some fun too. I celebrated my dad and sister’s birthdays (back-to-back days), and then put together my costume for my family’s Disney-themed Halloween party this weekend. I had wanted to go as Ursula from The Little Mermaid (you know, do my hair all crazy like octopus tentacles), but my nephews demanded I go as Elsa from Frozen.

Okay, my costume won’t be nearly as glamorous as Elsa’s, but people will get the general gist–er, hopefully.

I also spent some time this week shooting photos and video clips for my friend’s latest film for the NYC Midnight Flash Fiction Challenge. These films are silly, but I love contributing to them. They’re a great way to bring the NYC Midnight writing community together, build friendships, and have fun. Oh, and laugh at myself.

A lot.

JennaDisney1Like the last round, I needed to use the story I wrote for round 2 as my inspiration. Since Operation Disney revolved around the recent debacles of the Secret Service Agency and Julia Pierson’s absurd Disney quote (“We need to be more like Disney World. We need to be more friendly, inviting…”), I decided to dress up like Mickie Mouse and wave around a toy gun while singing/dancing to “Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah”.

Here are just a couple of the clips I took:

(And, yes, feel free to laugh/shake your head/mock me. I don’t care–ha!)

I know I look ridiculous, but I actually had a blast while filming. Sometimes it’s therapeutic to let go, act like an idiot, and laugh at yourself, you know? And I laughed at myself a lot. There were many blooper moments, one of which included me accidentally hitting the trigger on the toy gun and dropping it in surprise when it made that motor-like sound. I wasn’t ready for it!

Anyway, here is today’s Friday Funny. I thought it was fitting after taking those pictures and video clips for my political satire piece. The day I wrote Operation Disney, I did quite a bit of research and Googled a variety of things, including Secret Service Agency, Air Force One, Obama, attack, guns, Russia…By the end of the day, I said, “Well, that probably put me on the NSA’s watch list.” 😉

Enjoy!

10671284_10152514271928432_1697126134585438931_nHow was your week? Busy? Calm? Do anything goofy and silly? I know many of you are preparing for NaNoWriMo. How’s it going? Are you ready for it?

Jen’s Weekly Roundup

In case you missed my posts from earlier this week, here you go!

Music Monday – Explosions – Ellie Goulding

You Know You’re a Writer When…Awkward Introductions

Yes, Agents Google Writers

Photo credits: 

http://giphy.com/gifs/DImeco37S0Fl6

http://ynaija.com/teen/these-are-the-problems-of-todays-social-media-girl-her-facial-expressions-are-just-too-funny-look/

https://www.tumblr.com/search/self+five

http://tatara94.deviantart.com/

https://www.facebook.com/ericjodomfb/photos/pb.195590938431.-2207520000.1414167501./10152514271928432/?type=3&theater

You Know You’re a Writer When…Awkward Introductions

YKYAWW Introductions

Friday Funny with Goals, NaNoEdMo, and Spiders

When I got out of bed this morning, I felt like doing this:

Yay for Friday! I say we all take a moment to celebrate and dance it up…Come on, dance! Shake that booty, wriggle those hips, and stomp those feet!

…Are you doing it?

Are you?

Well, hopefully you’re at least tapping your feet or bobbing your head.

Okay, okay. Enough dancing…for now. 😉

Overall, my week was calm and productive. On Monday, I received an email that lit a fire under my dragging feet and prompted me to promise someone I’d have a final draft of my manuscript done by January 1st.

Yeah, trying not to panic too much.

It’s going to take a lot of work, a lot of focus, and A LOT of hermit days to meet my self-imposed deadline for a final draft by January 1st. I’ve already started telling people in my life, “I’m sorry, but I need to be selfish the next couple of months to finish my book, so if you don’t hear from me or I have to bail on you, that’s why. Again, sorry.”

I feel horrible, but chopping out all distractions is going to be a necessity if I’m going to do this.

Hey, a writer’s gotta do what a writer’s gotta do, right?

Strangely, right after I made the decision to finish my manuscript by January 1st, one of my best friends text me and said she wants to do NaNoEdMo in November to edit the story she wrote during Camp NaNoWriMo in July. After I finished chuckling, I told her I’d join her. I’m still chewing over what my exact goal for the month will be. I can’t really base edits off a word count, so I’m thinking a certain number of chapters.

Whatever I decide, I need to buckle down and get to work!

I did take a break last night to decorate my house for Halloween–finally. I’ve been putting it off because 1) I’ve been so busy, and 2) I really, really, really did not want to go into my crawl space to get my bins of decorations. You guys, it’s ca-reepy down there! Dark, dirty, spidery.

*shudder*

I despise spiders. Give me snakes or mice any day of the week. Just not spiders. Anything but those vindictive eight-legged monsters!

But, alas, I had to face my fears. So last night I put on my big girl pants, sucked it up, and journeyed into the dreaded crawl space. I saw one spider dangling from a web, but it was dead, so I didn’t panic too much. But then I backed up and got jabbed in the butt by my Christmas tree and freaked out, lol. I swore Shelob had crawled out of the darkness to gobble me up. I know, I know. I’m ridiculous. No need to tell me. I’m fully aware of it, haha.

Anyway, in honor of my focused week and my goal of finishing my manuscript by January 1st, here is today’s Friday funny. Enjoy!

1798100_875822442428382_3463484613586654032_nHow was your week? Have you set any goals for your own work? How many of you are participating in NaNoWriMo?

Jen’s Weekly Roundup

In case you missed my posts from earlier this week, here you go!

Music Monday – Mornay’s Dream – Braveheart

You Know You’re A Writer When…Favorite Mug

How to Write a Novel Synopsis: 5 Tips

Photo credits: 

http://www.nolanfans.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=17&p=547915

http://getoffmyinternets.net/thats-quirky-is-a-steaming-pile-of-no/comment-page-3/

http://orbitags.com/the-53-thoughts-every-college-grad-has-immediately-after-moving-home/

http://forums.superherohype.com/showthread.php?t=481237

http://www.tumblr.com/search/disney%20grumpy

http://www.nolanfans.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=17&p=547915

You Know You’re A Writer When…Favorite Mug

YKYAWW Favorite Mug

Friday Funny with Lots and Lots of Stories

Look at that! We made it to Friday.

So, I don’t know about you, but this week flew past.

Er, actually, I’m suddenly questioning whether it is, indeed, Friday. Hold on…Okay, double checked. It is. Phew!

Overall, my week mostly revolved around the NYC Midnight Flash Fiction Challenge. I know, I know. Bad Jenna! I’m supposed to be working on my manuscript, not reading my competitor’s stories and critiquing them. But…ugh.

Okay, this is what happened.

On Wednesday, I received the green light from NYC Midnight to post my story publicly and on their private forum. The forum is where all of the competitors get to connect and read/evaluate each other’s work. Really, it’s one of the main reasons I even participate. Not only have I learned so much about my writing from the valuable feedback I’ve received there, but I’ve also made some great friends.

On the forum, there’s an unspoken rule: If someone reads/critiques your story, you should read/critique theirs in return. No, not everyone does this, but most of us consider it a basic courtesy.

So, usually, after I get the go ahead from the competition to post my story on the forum, I like to block out a few days to hunker down and read/critique as many stories as my eyeballs and brain can handle. I do this because 1) I enjoy it, and 2) I hope to drive people to my story to receive feedback. Give and take, right? I read yours, you read mine. Win-win.

Well, this round I decided to approach things differently.

With my manuscript “yelling” at me to finish it, I decided I couldn’t be proactive on the forum and read people’s stories unless they read mine first. So, when I posted my story, I wrote a disclaimer that basically said, “If you read my story, I’ll read yours.”

HORRIBLE IDEA!

By Wednesday night, I had over 20 stories to read and critique. By yesterday, near 35.

It’s like people freaked out I wasn’t going to be seeking out stories like I normally do, so they made sure to read and comment on mine so I’d read and comment on theirs.

Doh!

I decided to the best way to deal with the overwhelming situation was to barrel my way through the towering stack of work yesterday and today–you know, the whole pulling off the band-aid strategy. That way I can go into the weekend focused completely on my manuscript.

I made it over halfway through the stack yesterday, so hopefully I’m able to finish things up today!

As for my entry for the Flash Fiction Challenge, the feedback has been surprisingly positive so far. Although most people don’t seem to know exactly what qualifies as political satire, they think Operation Disney is funny.

Now, to be honest, I think most people are probably being nicer with their reviews than usual. Most everyone knows by now how much I dreaded writing a political satire and how little faith I had–have–in my story.

Yes, yes. Despite the nice words I’ve received about Operation Disney, I’m still not sold on it. I’ve read it a couple of times this week and every time I’m more and more bothered by it. Ugh…I know I’m being hard on myself, and I know I did an okay job considering I was way out of my element, but I just can’t bring myself to love it like I’ve loved my other stories.

Oh well, oh well. I’m going to let it go and move on.

Sorry, I couldn’t resist. 😉

 Anyway, in honor of the NYC Midnight Flash Fiction Challenge, and the political satire I had to write, here is today’s Friday Funny. I’m sure I’ve posted this one before, but I had to use it again since it’s exactly how I felt while penning Operation Disney. Enjoy!

1013603_290902797768942_2264126418497184260_nHow was your week? Anyone else finding themselves buried in piles of work?

P.S. Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to read and comment on Operation Disney. I know I might sound like I’m complaining above, but I value each and every piece of feedback I’ve received. Thank you, thank you!

Jen’s Weekly Roundup

In case you missed my posts from earlier this week, here you go!

Disaster Strikes – Round 2 – NYC Midnight Flash Fiction Challenge 2014

You Know You’re A Writer When…Frustration

Operation Disney – 2nd Round Entry – NYC Midnight Flash Fiction Challenge Entry

Photo credits: 

http://www.celebuzz.com/2013-06-15/20-high-five-gifs-for-neil-patrick-harris-birthday/

http://gifrific.com/did-we-just-become-best-friends-step-brothers/

http://blog.wedeliver.us/wedeliver-news/5-reasons-you-didnt-get-into-techstars-y-combinator-or-any-other-accelerator/

http://armenatoyan.buzznet.com/user/journal/8187041/liz-lemon-gif-party-tina/

http://s284.photobucket.com/user/Bigsteve87/media/Gifs/HighFiveSnowWhite.gif.html

http://rebloggy.com/post/1k-spoilers-disney-spoiler-myedits-5k-frozen-let-it-go-disney-frozen-elsa-frozen/69317844213

http://www.funniestmemes.com/funniest-memes-the-writer-haha-this-is-funny-maybe-not/

Operation Disney – 2nd Round Entry – NYC Midnight Flash Fiction Challenge Entry

Below you will find my 2nd round entry for the NYC Midnight Flash Fiction Challenge 2014. You will also find a perfect example of trying and failing–ha! As I explained in a post earlier this week, I received the number one genre I DID NOT WANT: political satire.

To be honest, I wouldn’t even share this story with you because it’s not representative of who I am as a writer. However, I’ve decided the true failure for this story would come from stuffing it in a drawer and forgetting it ever happened. I might as well post it and learn from my mistakes. How else will I improve if I don’t open myself up to criticism, right?

So, with that all said, here you go! As a reminder, I had 48-hours to write a 1,000 word story based on these prompts:

Screen Shot 2014-10-06 at 8.38.53 AM

*Since not all of us are political gurus, I wrote out a brief explanation about my chosen topic. If you’d like to read it before or after you check out my story–click here and scroll to the bottom 🙂

“Operation Disney”

by Jenna Willett

BRIEF SYNOPSIS: It’s the 21st century and time for a new, inviting strategy for the Secret Service. But Director Peterson’s plan might be too Disney for special agent Prouty.

*

“My, oh my, what a wonderful day!” Director Judy Peterson clapped her chubby hands and hitched her bulldog-like face into a smile. “Remember, everyone: be friendly and inviting. Understand?”

The group of black clad Secret Service agents shifted uneasily. Agent Prouty glanced at his colleagues. They wore varying expressions of alarm, amusement, and indifference. Behind them, Air Force One glimmered in the setting sun of Scranton, Pennsylvania, the “happiest place on Earth”.

“Come, come. I wanna see smiles. Lots and lots of smiles!” Director Peterson nodded her approval at each agent. “Ah, yes, there you go. Very good. Yes, yes–No, no. Prouty!” she barked. “You’re not smiling!”

He clenched his jaw and twitched his thin lips into a smile.

Fuck, this was ridiculous.

Satisfied, Director Peterson motioned across the tarmac to the VIP passengers being herded out of the airport to the final security checkpoint. “Smith, check IDs. Phillips, run the metal detector. Halloway…” As she rattled off their individual assignments, Prouty studied the approaching passengers: congressmen, media clowns, a few invited guests.

“…yes, yes, Halloway. That’s a great smile. Just like Prince Charming.” Director Peterson’s praise drew Prouty’s attention back to her. The evening breeze hardly ruffled her stiff chocolate brown hair. “Prouty, you’ll oversee the baggage scanner.”

He nodded dutifully.

“And, don’t forget, everyone,” she trilled. “I want smiles and magic–“

“Director?” Prouty blurted. “Who’s on Air Force One with the First Family?” Hell, the last thing they needed was an armed lunatic running up the plane’s stairs, barging through the door, and mowing down the President of the United States.

She waved a dismissive hand. “Eh, they’ll be safe on board. The attendants can keep an eye on them.”

Oh, dear God.

Prouty bit back his angry retort and did as he’d been trained to do: follow orders without argument.

“Now, let’s hoppity-hop to it!” Director Peterson fluttered her fingers towards the security checkpoint.

Prouty and the rest of the team obediently took up their positions. From his perch behind the baggage scanner, he watched Director Peterson stroll behind the other agents, urging them to maintain their delightful facades while greeting passengers. “Welcome to Air Force One. Anything your heart desires will come to you. If you want a cognac, you got it.”

How the hell did she get her husky voice to sound like a chipmunk?

Prouty shook his head and focused on scanning the luggage contents. The shape of a gun appeared.

What the–?

“Is there a bluebird on your shoulder today, agent?”

He jumped and glared behind him. Director Peterson leaned in close. Her cotton candy perfume gave him an instant toothache. “Director, we have a serious problem.” He pointed at the screen.

Her beady eyes narrowed. “Well, that’s obviously a hairdryer, silly.” She winked and tapped him on the nose. “But, good eyes. Keep them sharp.”

“But–“

“Ooh, look! A Birkin bag.” She bounced over to a busty blonde hanging on the withered arm of an ancient congressman.

Oh for shit’s sake. Prouty swallowed his outrage and continued checking bags.

A few minutes later, a hefty man plodded past holding a map of Washington D.C.

“Sir?” Prouty stood and squinted at the map. The White House was circled in red.

Holy hell.

“It is fine, da?” the man grunted in a thick Russian accent while puffing on a cigarette.

Prouty coughed and tapped his headset. “Director, I have an issue–“

“An issue?” She skipped over to him, her jowls wobbling with each heavy jolt. “Well, well, well. Who’s this handsome man?”

“Vlad Bukavitsky,” the Russian sneered. “And I not like dis treatment by your countryman. I good man. Loyal man. See?” He flashed the Russian flag pin on his lapel.

Prouty scowled. “Sir, I need you to hand over that map–“

“Agent Prouty!” Director Peterson gasped. “Don’t discriminate against our international friend.” She smiled apologetically at Bukavitsky. “I’m so sorry, sir. We’ll make sure you get a souvenir.” She tapped on her headset. “Halloway? Yeah, I need a coffee mug…”

Prouty’s jaw dropped. “But–“

Suddenly, a man wearing a yellow construction hardhat appeared. “Hiyah, folks.”

“Hello there!” Director Peterson chirped.

“Got a call about a broken TV on the plane. Mind if I hop on real quick to fix it?”

“Of course not. Go ahead.” She waved him past the security checkpoint. “And thank you. I know how much the President wants to watch those Steelers.”

“Best damn team ever,” the construction worker agreed. He tipped his hat, and whistling, strolled off to the jet. Prouty caught him snapping a selfie on his way up the steps.

Good God!

Unable to contain himself any longer, he rounded on Director Peterson. “With all due respect, this is bullshit. None of this is protocol–“

“My dear agent,” she sighed, impatience lacing her sugary tone. “How many times must I tell you? This is the 21st century. It’s time for a new attitude and a new approach to our tactics. Lowering our guard might be the best thing to raise–“

BANG!

Everyone screamed and ducked.

BANG–BANG–BANG!

Prouty spun around, gun in hand, ready to fire.

BANG–BANG!

“Someone get to the President and his family,” he shouted.

“How dare you, Prouty!” Director Peterson cried. “I’m in charge here. Stand down, team. I repeat, stand down.”

He gaped at her. “Director, someone shot–“

“Nobody shot anything! It was just the luggage trolley backfiring.”

“Backfiring?”

“Obviously.” She clucked her tongue. “Haven’t you ever heard a car backfire?”

“But six times?”

“Hush, hush.” She patted him on the arm. “And for God’s sake, smile. You’re scaring our poor passengers with your unnecessary panic.”

Unnecessary? Are you out of your–“

“The last passenger has been processed, Director.” Halloway ran up with his Prince Charming smile.

“Well, my, oh my.” She clapped her hands. “Great job, team. Let’s get this show on the road.”

Prouty glared from them, to the President’s plane. Slowly, he exhaled and muttered, “Ah, fuck. Let it go.” 

To read more stories, visit the Jen’s Pen page.